I'm 70 and person been azygous each my life. And earlier you consciousness sorry for maine – please don't. There is nary uncertainty successful my mind that nan azygous life is my champion life.
It is not conscionable amended than being pinch a bad romanticist partner, it is amended than immoderate romanticist partner, nevertheless awesome that personification mightiness be.
And acold from being a rarity, I judge location are galore group for illustration me. I telephone them 'single astatine heart'. For these people, being azygous is our astir joyful, authentic, meaningful, and fulfilling life.
We are not azygous because we are moving distant from thing aliases because we person 'issues'. We are azygous because we emotion what azygous life offers.
Growing up, I ne'er knew location was specified a point arsenic choosing to enactment happily single. I was surrounded by nan relentlessly touted and celebrated taste book that insists that what humans want much than thing else, is simply a committed romanticist relationship.
People who chose to beryllium azygous are not sad and lonely – successful fact, studies person shown that azygous group are connected mean much connected to much group (stock image)
In that script, nary 1 really wants to beryllium single, aliases slightest not for long. If they deliberation they do, they are conscionable fooling themselves. And if they really do enactment single, they are going to turn progressively sad and lonely arsenic they age.
Now I cognize better. As a societal scientist who has studied singleness and azygous group since 1992, I tin show you nan myths astir singletons are each wrong.
People who chose to beryllium azygous are not sad and lonely – successful fact, studies person shown that azygous group are connected mean much connected to much people.
Compared pinch joined group we socialise pinch friends and neighbours much often and enactment successful touch pinch our parents connected a much regular basis. While couples whitethorn person The One, we person The Ones.
And arsenic for regretting being azygous arsenic we get older – again, not true. Research shows that azygous group get happier and happier pinch their azygous lives arsenic they attack mediate property and caput connected to aged age. Indeed, arsenic I turn older my azygous life conscionable keeps getting amended and better.
And I'm not unique.
Around nan world, nan number of group conscionable for illustration maine is increasing and has been for decades.
Two Pew Research Centre (a US 'fact' tank) surveys show that of each nan azygous group polled who did not person a romanticist partner, astatine slightest half had nary liking successful a romanticist narration aliases moreover going connected a date.
More than 70 per cent said that nan logic they were not willing successful un-singling themselves was that they liked being single.
I person interviewed dozens of singletons and conducted a study of 20,000 group for my book, Single At Heart: The Power, Freedom And Joy Of Single Life.
The group I said to described a life afloat of emotion – a emotion that encompasses acold much than conscionable romanticist love.
They described freedom, rewarding careers and travel, joyfully detailing nan liberation that comes from refusing to unrecorded personification else's type of a bully life, and uncovering their ain happy ever after.
My connection for anyone attracted to nan azygous life but unsettled by nan expectations and pressures of society, family and wide media: don't un-single yourself! The consequence you look is not successful what you will miss if you don't find a romanticist partner, but what you will miss if you do.
So, are you azygous astatine heart? Whatever your narration status, present are 5 of nan telltale signs that you could be…
1. You are happier erstwhile you are single
Single life is your happy place. That doesn't mean you are happy each nan time; nary 1 is. But it does mean that if you've tried being successful a couple, it didn't consciousness rather right.
People who are not looking for a romanticist partner are particularly happy
Many who are azygous astatine bosom person told maine that they had antecedently recovered The One – personification they loved and who loved them, but that life, organised astir a partner, conscionable did not comparison to nan joyousness and nan heavy contentment they acquisition erstwhile they are solo.
People who are not looking for a romanticist partner are particularly happy. The much they put successful their lives, nan happier they become.
2. You cherish your freedom
When I asked nan azygous astatine bosom what they liked astir being solo, everyone mentioned freedom. They described nan deliciousness of organising their regular routines conscionable nan measurement they want, from what they eat to erstwhile they sleep.
Within nan limits of their resources and opportunities, they tin unrecorded wherever they want and do nan activity they want.
They tin walk clip pinch arsenic galore different group arsenic they desire. They person financial freedom; sloppy of whether they person a batch of money aliases very little, they determine what to do pinch it.
They usage their state to beryllium location for nan group who request them and for their communities. All of them get to floor plan their ain life course, and this is thing they treasure.
3. You consciousness much sexually satisfied
At nan bosom of nan azygous astatine bosom life is authenticity. You get to beryllium who you really are, sexually and successful each different way, too.
I've recovered that group who are not looking for a partner are moreover much sexually satisfied than those who are.
They person their intersexual freedom. They tin research pinch different kinds of activity and different kinds of people, arsenic often arsenic they want and whenever they want. Sexual state is besides nan state not to beryllium bothered pinch sex, if it conscionable doesn't liking you.
4. You savour your solitude
Savouring solitude is your concealed superpower. Being unafraid of being unsocial really protects you from emotion lonely
You cherish nan clip you person to yourself. Solitude, to you, is often a clip to relax, reflect, recharge, aliases beryllium imaginative aliases spiritual. Alone, you are attuned to who you really are. You tin do immoderate you want, including thing astatine all, without enduring nan judgement of others.
Savouring solitude is your concealed superpower. Being unafraid of being unsocial really protects you from emotion lonely.
In later life, you are not going to go nan caricature of nan sad and lonely aged person. You are going to beryllium thriving.
Plus, you tin emotion solitude and besides emotion socialising. In fact, for galore who are azygous astatine heart, getting their afloat measurement of solitude makes them a amended friend and companion to their friends and family.
5. You felt relieved erstwhile a romance ended
People who are azygous astatine heart, for illustration anyone else, whitethorn consciousness symptom erstwhile a romance ends. But you often consciousness thing other excessively – relief. Even if nan narration was delightful, moreover if you loved your partner and your partner loved you, a portion of you felt happy that it was over.
I've heard these stories complete and complete during my galore decades of research. A cheery man told maine that erstwhile he was successful a relationship, he daydreamed each time astir being azygous again. A heterosexual female confessed that during her marriage, she often fantasised astir being azygous and free.
Don't fto nan unit to unrecorded personification else's type of nan bully life forestall your happy ever after. If you deliberation you mightiness beryllium azygous astatine heart, ain it!
- Single At Heart: The Power, Freedom And Joy Of Single Life by Dr Bella DePaulo (Souvenir Press, £14.99)